The most terrible hour of my life was the last hour. About to do something witchy, because some man somewhere had said some words. And yet people I’d never met, people I knew nothing about were about to kill me. Jay’s always funny and people criticize people in LA – superficial, empty all that – but I’ve always got along with everyone. I was missing Roman, but I was happy enough. On the last day of my life, I played with my dog Prudence, had lunch with friends and then later went out for dinner at El Coyote Cafe.
With Bruce Lee on the set of The Wrecking Crew We talked about baby names until late, even though I had to get up early to go. He said I shouldn’t be ashamed of my beauty. Jay would be in LA and I had lots of friends now. Roman had to finish the film, and it didn’t matter really it didn’t. I was going to sail on the QE2, like a Queen. And I didn’t even care for the silly London man taking my photograph as I packed baby clothes, ready to go back to the States. Sloshing and kicking like it can’t wait to get out. God, I didn’t think it could get so huge. My belly even began to look like the world. Are you kidding me? That meant the world. ‘You’re going to have a baby.’ That meant something.
And so was I free to see other men? Did I want to? What if words didn’t mean anything? Like commitment, loyalty, trust? What was an ‘open marriage’ anyway? If words begin to mean anything don’t they end up being meaningless? He said, ‘don’t ever try to change me’ and that meant other girls. ‘To love and obey’ – they were part of our vows, but Roman and I were never hung up on traditions. We can tug the rein this way or that, but the horse can decide too, can throw us, if she wishes. It’s like our lives are just horses and we’re riding them. And yet I believe something is more powerful than our own minds and decisions. I didn’t even know if I wanted to be an actress. Roman looked like some kind of Edwardian Prince, a little dandy vampire! And all the words that went into the newspapers – ‘up and coming’, ‘promising’, ‘the new face’ – all had the power of pushing you on. ‘I now pronounce you man and wife.’ We got married in Chelsea, London. I have to admit at first I was something of a klutz! Sharon Tate in The Fearless Vampire Killers But on set I got talking to the Italian crew and Roman for the first time seemed impressed. And I haven’t the energy half the time to disabuse them of their whimsy, as mom might say. He called me stupid and dumb and all those things that people just assume anyway when thy see a pretty face. Did you ever think how funny that is? How powerful those words must be? When I met Roman I hated him. You’re not married until someone ‘pronounces you’. ‘Ready, aim, fire!’ ‘Camera, sound, action!’ ‘By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes…’ Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate marry That’s why generals and directors bark orders and why witches cast spells. I say ‘red elephant’ and you can’t help but think of … You’ve got it. I say words and they put thoughts in your head. Don’t you want to talk with any of them? A language is like a superpower. Why wouldn’t you want to know another language? There are more than fifty million Italians in the world. Some of the other American girls didn’t bother. I went to school in Vicenza and I learned Italian. Why do people behave in certain ways? How do dreams and ideas arrive in our heads? Where do thoughts actually come from and how do they operate? Of course, I talk like that people thinking I’m being daffy. And anyway we were moving on from one post to the next. My mom thought they were fun for a while but she didn’t push me or anything. What did I know about it? It didn’t matter. The Tiny Tot of Texas? Sounds downright funny now. I was six months old when I won my first beauty competition.